ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
