I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
