I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
