chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
