dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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