ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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