don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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