You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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