i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
