This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Sorry about my life...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
