He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
