no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
