he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
