well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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