***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just google imaged poop.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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