I swear she didn't look like that last week.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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