i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
