So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
