He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
