Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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