she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
vagina is talking i cant
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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