i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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