so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
