hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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