sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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