You can't special order awesome
We named our party play list daddy issues
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Randomize
