I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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