just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
All the doctor said was why
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
