I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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