Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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