"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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