Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
