I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
