I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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