i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
