he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
