he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
