i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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