3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You're like the curious george of whores
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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