i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I would ride that face into the sunset
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
