my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I checked into jail on foursquare
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
