Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
