Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
