remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
