i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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