Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
