If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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