Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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