the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
