It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
