I think I won the penis lottery.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My vagina is very pro this idea
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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