O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
